Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I am so incredibly tired of being disappointed over and over again.
I'm so incredibly sick of not having a real family.
I have never and will never be enough for them.
I can do no right.

The only thing consistent in my life is disappointment and I'm sick of it perpetuating my life time and time again.

I don't believe I will ever be enough for anyone.
I'm always second best.
Always second choice.

I can't live like this any more, but I don't know what kind of change to make to bring happiness to my life.

I'm sick of waiting to be loved in return.
I honestly don't think I'll ever be loved in return.

Growing up in this cracked, fucked up, disintegrated home has taught me to have low expectations of love.

And yet I still fall in to it. Always with someone who couldn't care less about me.

I'm just so sick and tired of disappointment haunting every corner and darkening every shred of hope in my heart.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Shit man.

I try to dance it off.
I try to clean it off.
I try to party it off.

But I just can't shake this feeling.